5 Reasons Why Your Family Cannot Stick To a Budget and How To Fix It

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Why can’t we stick to the family budget we have set or meet our family’s financial goals? Every year, an ever-popular goal for many families, single income families or not, is learning how to set a family budget and life-changing financial goals. However, like many other resolutions or goals, we fail to stick to the budget or meet that financial goal. But why?

If your family cannot stick to a budget, let’s dig into the reasons (or excuses…) that are preventing your success and learn what strategies to implement that will allow your family to overcome those obstacles.

1. We are not aware of our family’s values.

We need to dig deep and identify and understand our family’s values. Maybe this is something you and your spouse have never discussed. Either way, your family lives out its values whether you’ve actually discussed them or not.

Maybe one of your values is quality time. Because of this, you tend to spend more money on fun outings (zoo trips, shopping, dining out, etc.) or conveniences that allow you to spend more uninterrupted time together, such as investing in grocery delivery (raising my hand) so you can spend less time away from home.

Our values drive much of our everyday choices and spending habits. When we recognize our values, it allows us to set realistic and exciting goals, which we’ll dive into next.

Solution:

Make it a date night and sit down with your spouse to discuss, or better yet, write down your family’s key values. You should be aligned in this area and if not, that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later if you want to be a successful team across the board.

2. We set goals that do not align with our greatest family values.

Once you understand your family’s values, it’s much easier to set goals that you ACTUALLY want to work towards. Because our values drive our spending habits, we can leverage that to better understand what we should be aiming towards and steering away from.

For example, if your family’s main value is financial security because it relieves stress, it will be much easier for you to set a realistic goal to pay off your mortgage in less time than you planned. However, another family who more strongly values relationship and hospitality, they may naturally lean towards wanting to invest into their home by making improvements rather than paying down the mortgage faster.

Neither of these scenarios are wrong, but if you’re setting a goal that conflicts with your greatest value, your family will need to be extra diligent in the steps taken to reach that goal. You may have to make the conscious choice that “in this season ‘x’ is our greatest value, not ‘y’.”

This year, our family is legitimately living off one income. Our only goal this year is to simply keep diligent watch of our finances and ensure we never over spend more than my husband brings home. I have left my six-figure corporate job and while we have never lived drastically differently than when we only brought around $65k as a household in our younger years, it’s still going to be a major adjustment in other ways. No more random purchases on Amazon or lazy day pizza pick-ups. We need to be mindful of every purchase to avoid spending from the money that we want to save towards being able to pay off our home early. Financial security is a major value and something we are continuing to prioritize, even as a single income family.

Solution:

Once you and your spouse have identified your greatest values during this season in life, write out goals that support and reflect those values. You should be able to easily explain how a goal (or our planned budget) supports our most important values.

Example: We budgeted so we could save money to build up at least 6 months of savings before I stayed home with our babies. Budgeting to be able to put that money aside aligned with our values of financial security, quality time, and the ability to raise and school our children entirely ourselves.

3. We cannot stick to a budget because we set unrealistic budgets.

Oftentimes, families cannot stick to a budget because they will try to set a budget that is either much too strict or much too relaxed because they do not take the time to really understand their expenses and spending habits. When we set budgets that are too tight, we almost can never follow them for long because we find them stressful or impossible to meet, so we simply give up.

On the other hand, when we are very loose with our budget and do the bare minimum of “not spending more than we bring in” that’s very passive and you rarely find yourselves advancing in any way. You are simply going through the motions. I think there are appropriate seasons in life where this makes sense. We’ve certainly been there, but if you want to truly make impactful changes to your family’s financial health, you have to set realistic expectations around your budget.

Solution:

Review your expenses over the last few months and document your average income and spending. The categorization can be as high-level or granular as you need it to be based on your personality. The key is to do it in a way that will allow you to keep up with this habit in the future (Yep, you’ve guess it. That point is coming up in problem #4 below.)

To start, you could use the following high-level categories and adjust as needed: home, food, transportation, debt, giving, miscellaneous, and incomes. Based on your spending in previous months, assign a realistic budget to each category. This is also a great time to decide as a couple if any expenses need to be cut (such as excessive coffee runs or unused streaming services).

Side note: If you need a template to set a budget and track your monthly spending, you can access my FREE budget tracker and financial planner below to get you started. It also includes an area to create a monthly challenge for yourselves with a weekly check-in prompt to monitor your progress along the way.

4. We do not take the time to review our spending habits.

Rarely do you find family’s who will take the time to reflect on the previous month or week and ask themselves for every transaction “Why did we buy that? Was it necessity? Was it an impulse purchase? Did that purchase add value to our lives or is it some item that’s just going to add to our clutter?”

Some may find this overkill, but I’m will to bet you that if you find a family, especially a single income family, this is a practice they implement regularly. Once you get used to reflecting on your spending habits, you’ll be able to start asking yourself these types of questions BEFORE you ever enter or swipe your card, savings you hundreds or possibly thousands every year.

Solution:

Decide a cadence for reviewing your spending habits, whatever you can realistically commit to. I personally sit down once a week and review and write down our transactions to keep a pulse on our spending.

At a minimum, conduct a monthly review of your spending habits and if you hit your budget projections or not. Jot down what successes you achieved as well as any areas for improvement before you head into the next month. It’s crucial to set aside this time every month. Life is busy and if we don’t take the time to slow down and see where our habits are leading us, we’ll quickly find ourselves somewhere we never desired to be based on repeated mistakes that could have been avoided. Don’t skip this step!

5. We do a poor job of accurately identifying what is a want versus what is a need.

In recent decades, a lot has changed. Things that are considered a “need” by our current generation were not even an option for our parents or grandparents, such as cell phones, internet, subscriptions,etc. While these advancements bring value in many ways, they also add to our perceived cost of living.

Many people feel they need to have at least one streaming service. You MUST have a smartphone with UNLIMITED data. “I couldn’t possibly go to the store and buy my own groceries because I am too busy. That’s what my InstaCart subscription is for.”

Listen, I’m not judging. Our family has more than one streaming service, although we are about to cut down drastically and some we don’t pay for directly. We have smartphones with unlimited data plans. Don’t forget! I also have a Walmart+ subscription and get my groceries delivered weekly. However, I do not view these things as necessities. These are wants that fit into our budget that align with our values that we talked about earlier.

However, if our family really needed to cut back our expenses, I can tell you the first thing I would be looking at is subscriptions and nice-to-haves with a very critical lens. I would ask myself WHY we need every single transaction that takes place and if there is any possible way we could remove, reduce or replace that expense. If your family cannot stick to a budget, you need to be asking yourselves those questions.

Solution:

Before every purchase, ask yourself these four questions:

1. Why is this expense truly necessary or can we go without, at least for now? (Hint: if the answer is no, you don’t have to ask yourself the next questions!)
2. Can we reduce the cost of this necessary expense? (find at a thrift store, check with friends/family to see if they are parting with one, switch service providers, etc.?)
3. Is there a way we can accomplish the goal behind the necessity with something we already have at home?
4. A few days from now, when I have to write down this transaction, will I still think this purchase was necessary? (Trust me, when I see how many times I’ve written down “Amazon” on my expense tracker sheets over the course of the month, it almost never feels like it was a true “necessity”.)

Bonus reason we cannot stick to a budget: We opt for convenience and instant gratification.

We need to find a way for implementing financial health instantly enjoyable. This is true for almost any goal or resolution people set. We fail to follow through if we do not see instant results or the steps to reach that goal are inconvenient. People do this with diets, working out, reading a certain amount of books in a year, etc. You name it, people will oftentimes give up if it’s not “easy” or they do not yield immediate satisfaction out of a habit.

We’ve been trained through technology in recent decades to expect things in an instant. Although, I love technology. Heck, I worked in the tech industry in Program Management for nearly a decade before making the decision to stay home with my children. (Side note: If one of your goals in 2025 is to become a single income family you will find this post helpful: 10 practical tips for becoming a secure single income family.)

Solution:

Because we desire that instant gratification, you need to pair your financial health practices with satisfying tasks. For example:

• Make your favorite snack or beverage for every time you sit down to write our your expenses or do a monthly review.
• Choose a favorite show to watch while you plan out your budget for the upcoming month.
• Go for a walk in nature and listen to a motivating financial health podcast.

When we pair habits with activities we enjoy, that makes them feel like less of a chore. You’re winning in more ways than one. I do this even with simple things like folding laundry. I HATE folding laundry. However, if I know I can watch an episode of one of my favorite shows while I fold and put away 3 loads of laundry, I’ll happily fold and put away those clothes for the next 45 minutes or so.

Your family CAN stick to a budget in 2025.

However, if we take the time every month to reflect on our spending habits, align realistic financial goals to our family values, and are willing to be a little uncomfortable by giving things up when necessary and forgo convenience at times, we can achieve life-changing financial goals that our family can be proud of for years to come.

I hope that in 2025 you and your family can utilize these tips to keep you on track this year as you set family financial goals. Moving forward you will never have to say “we cannot stick to a budget”, but rather “We met our 2025 financial goals!”

I’d love to hear any other tips you’ve implemented that have moved the needle for your family over the years. Drop them in the comments!

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